Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I'm TTC

I had a text through from a friend earlier, recommending a period/menstration app. It seems pretty good and was free, so that's good. I've just been looking on the Forum (as part of the app), and just found out the new terminology/acronyms:
TTC = Trying to conceive
BFP = Big fat positive
BFN = Big fat negative.

I'm so tempted to use these on Facebook when I have something to tell people... get them guessing what I'm talking about! "After TTC, and getting a BFN, I've now finally got a BFP!" That kind of thing. See who can decode it first.

I've got a way to go yet, I've got the 'joy' of a period at the moment.

I found out today that pulling your knees up to your chest, with a tampon in, during aquafit is not too comfortable! I did it, just with a lot less enthusiasm, speed and not quite so high!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Dr Cox moments

Well I haven't blogged for a while, because when I've had things I've wanted to say I haven't had the energy/motivation to do it - so I've just bored my penpals with it instead or it's just been a repeat of what I've said before.

I can't say that I understand my body at the moment. Having periods again is fine, they seem to have gone straight back into a regular pattern, although a bit different to before. My stomach still isn't feeling 100%, which keeps making me keep thinking "could I be pregnant", which is not really helping me. On Wednesday it looked like my period was starting, I had a bit of spotting, but yesterday and so far today my body seems to have had a re-think! Lets see what happens over the next few days.

When I told Andy on Wednesday that my period was starting, so it looked like I wasn't pregnant, this is what he blogs! Should I be worrying how often my husbands mind goes into Scrubs moments? At work he often finds himself in Dr Cox moments, and he even has his own "Newbie" who longs for a hug! Andy's even perfecting the Dr Cox stance, with his hands behind his head, elbows out! Hmmm, maybe I should be a bit concerned! Lets keep him away from the Gin just to be careful!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

One month in

Ok, it's a little over a month since I came off the pill and I'm onto my 2nd period - fun times! It's been a month of trying to cut down on the alcohol and remembering to take Folic Acid every day (although after years of being on the mini pill that's not hard). My body seems to be recovering quite well from the hormone withdrawal.

I said to Andy the other day, how it's nice that the whole "having a baby thing" is now out of my hands really. Obviously Andy and I play a major part in it ;-D but the whole conception thing is in Gods hands now. I must admit, I feel a little naughty that I had it my way (aka choosing not to have a baby) for so long, that I took the control, rather than leaving it to God, but I'm afraid that one of my flaws, which God is aware of. It's nice to now be wanting to conceive a child. I now just need to try and be patient!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Silly pill, glad I'm off it now

Well after 6 years of being on hormone based contraceptives, coming off it has made me realise what side effects they had. I've realised that my libido had taken a nose-dive while I was on the pill! I've never been the most "lustful" women, I struggle to understand how people can get quite so carried away that they have one-night stands or affairs, because I find my brain is too much in charge for something like that to happen (which is great!). When I've decided something that's important to me, then I'm quite firm about it e.g. I don't like smoking, so even when drunk I'm not going to start smoking, if anything I'll go into preaching-mode against smoking!

After a quick search online, it seems that decrease in libido is not uncommon for people on Cerazette and it looks like I should be greatful that I didn't have mood swings as well! I can't complain much about the little pill, it took my periods away 98% for the year, which meant I had no period pain or the expense of buying sanitory products. Now is the best time to have an increased libido - when we're trying for a baby! Coming off the pill has reassured me that it wasn't me imagining me being less keen, also I've spoken to my newly married friend whose told me that she's felt a decrease too, so I was able to reassure her! I guess it's just the sacrifice we have to make after playing God with our hormones!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Coralie & Dans

We spent the weekend (Fri-Sun) with our friends Coralie and Dan, in London, because we went to a Christian New Media conference on Saturday.

Coralie is pregnant, and the conversation on Friday night ended up on the subject of when they'd decided to start trying for a baby, or should I say when they "stopped trying to NOT have a baby". Well, we decided to share where we're at! It was great to chat with them. Coralie & I looked through her pregnancy book & chatted, while Andy & Dan had a manly chat!

It's been interesting reading the pre-trying stuff in her book, although it does seem like a "perfect guide". For example it says have NO alcohol from trying onwards... Eat perfectly... Check full family history & get tons of health checks before even considering to try for a baby. I'm not sure the doctor I saw would have suggested checking my Rubella immunity, before getting preggers, if I hadn't mentioned it. The doctor I saw, basically checked I didn't smoke, and wasn't an alcoholic, and then said that if I needed a drink to relax in the evening, then that was fine. Well I think somewhere in the middle is the best way to go - rarely drinking, but an odd drink won't hurt. After reading the book, it seems like I basically need to do similar to what I did when I was on Weightwatchers - good balanced healthy diet, exercise, lack of alcohol. After
talking to Coralie & another friend whose trying, it really does seem that I've done more prep than many.

I'm glad I got a chance to read her book, because now I know what it advises to avoid in the early stages, which I can avoid while trying. I've given up using Cod Liver Oil tablets (& taken up wateraerobics), I know Ibruprofen is best to avoid (as can't use when pregnant), as is the more risky/less cooked foods (which I don't really eat anyway). I now really don't drink much, I might have an occasional small glass of wine at home, but less often.

Being a driver is really going to help me in the 1st few months of pregnancy when I'm trying to keep quiet about it: "sorry I can't drink, I'm driving"! I've already started this tactic. Christmas & New Year could be a bit interesting though, but a few people know we're trying (I can't keep my mouth shut to everyone), so they might take the pressure off me.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Gross times

Yucky full on periods, I really have not missed you! I think my body is having a autumn clean out down there! I'm so glad that I kept my stocks of sanitory products, as they are much needed now! Bloods clots r us! It's all very gross! Lets hope the worst is over the next few days, and settles down before the weekend when I'm off to London for the weekend!

Oh well, I'd better get ready for work!

To take or not to take?!

Before coming off the pill a full on period kicked in. Now this is the first time that I've had a proper (enough blood to warrant a proper pad) period for a few years!

I'm starting to think that there's no point continuing with taking the pill. I was basically just holding out to hear the result of the blood test on Thursday, and then was thinking I might as well wait until we return from a weekend in London, in case there's any side effects like my period suddenly kicking in, but since I've already got my period (and will need to plan for in case it continues), I'm not sure there's not much point waiting. I'm just keen to get the progestogen out of my system and give my body a chance to get back to "normal".

Some of the hormone changes won't be so much fun, like the return of the periods and period pain, but I'm hoping to be more hormonally charged around the ovulation time of the month!! Hehe!

I'm trying to get in the mind set that it will take a while to conceive, and that it's a chance to just enjoy my body returning to normal. It's my optimistically pessimistic approach - plan for the worse situation, so that if you get it you're not so disappointed, but if the better happens you celebrate. It's the "less of a fall" approach!

Well I know another couple who are trying to conceive, and I've told them about us, and where we're at, so that at least we've got one couple that we can talk to about this. It gave me a chance to discuss Rubella immunity and taking Folic Acid. She said they'd been recommended that he take Zinc!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Note to self, stop Googling things

OK I've had the blood test (to check I'm immune to Rubella), now I've got to wait to until Thursday to phone for the results.

Earlier on I decided to Google "stopping Cerezette". Oh bad move. I should know by now I'm just going to get told all about the bad reactions that people have had, because people are more likely to post on blogs/forums about bad reactions to things than good reactions! After reading a few, and feeling a bit worried about the drug and what affect it's had already and could protentially have when I stop taking it, I had to stop myself reading. I won't know how I will react, until I stop taking it. It does seem to be one of those drugs which can affect people in different ways. So far, it's been kind to me, I've had a good relationship with it. Now lets see how my body feels about saying goodbye to it!

I think my body had been reading this blog, because after years of nothing that could really be called a period, I then had a 2 day period. What I can't quite understand.... (stop reading if you want to avoid the grossness...

...Why is it that when sat on the loo: I wipe, there's lots of blood, a put a pad on, a go away for a while, when I return to the toilet, my pad barely shows any evidence of said period, but once again there's plenty of blood when I wipe?! Weird.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Aqua aerobics

I started that last post with the intention of saying how I'd been to aqua aerobics this morning, but I kind of got distracted!!

Baby talk again

My bookmarks on my browser and the peoples blogs I read through Google Reader, are becoming more and more pregnancy/baby related! Ekk! Me, becoming a little obsessed?!?! Nah!

I really struggle with this whole not telling people things about pregnancy. I totally understand why, but I'm not one to keep quiet when somethings happening in my life that's interesting. That is kind of the reason I've got this blog, it's my outlet, my place to vent, scream, shout, or declare stuff to the world, without them really knowing who I am!

The whole question of "ohh, so are you trying?" is always fun, because no, we're not...YET. We're preparing to start trying, I haven't quite given up those little white pills every morning!

Can I just say, I am going to miss being free of periods! I've basically had a few years or no more than a few days of period (if that), maybe every few months! Goodbye little liners, out come the big whoppers again! Fun times! I can't really complain, I've never suffered from periods as some people do, a bit of an ache in the lower stomach area, and may be less comfortable below and that's the worst of it! Maybe I'm just a wimp. Ut oh, this pregnancy thing is going to be interesting!! I would really like to take after my Mum with my pregnancy, she makes it out to have been easy compared to some "all day long & for months" morning sickness experiences that I've seen from people at church! I would not be surprised if that couple never have another child - she had a real rough deal!!

Friday morning is my blood test to find out if I'm immune to getting Rubella. I've just asked my friend if she checked it, because I know she's trying, and she didn't know about it. She's had all her jabs though, so only 1 in 100 chance that it would be a problem, and it seems like it might be checked when pregnant anyway.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Considering starting to try for a baby?

Just to drive the point home, following my other post...

To anyone out there thinking of coming off your method of contraception and trying for a baby. If you're generally in good health, there's not much point making a doctors appointment, just phone up your doctors surgery and ask for a blood test for Rubella!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Every man and his dog

This morning, as I walked from my car to the house I was working at, which is past my parents neighbours too, one of the neighbours started chatting to me. He's "known" me by sight for years, and is friendly with my parents. He asked me when I was going to have a baby, to give my parents grandchildren! It amused me.

I've had many people ask me when I'm going to start a family. Wow, lots of pressure. I'm sorry, but I've enjoyed being married without children for a while.

That appointment was just exercise

I've just been to my Doctors Appointment re trying for a baby. It wasn't really worth it, as I didn't find out anything that I didn't know before, and other than asking me a few questions (no I smoke or drink), he didn't do any health checks. I was expecting a comment about weight: might be good to loose a few pounds, but he didn't check my weight.

When I phoned up earlier this week, and spoke to the receptionist, I said I wanted to have a baby, and wanted an appointment to get a health check, and I'd check for Rubella immunity. I told her I wasn't sure if that was a doctor or nurse thing, she said "oh that'll be a doctors appointment." Well it seems that I could have skipped the doctors appointment and just made an appointment to see the phlebotomist, to take some blood, to check whether I am the 1/100 not immune to Rubella, because I've now got an appointment to see her (or him, but can't remember seeing a male one there). I've got to wait for over a week to see her as well! I'm glad I'm not desperate to start trying NOW!

Oh to explain the title. It was just exercise, because I walked the 2X15min journey there and back. I can't say I've been lazy today, as earlier I did some jogging/running (it's a fine line between them - out of breathe/really out of breathe!). My reason for the "jogging", was that I thought I'd get one of the chaps I support out of the house, and out on his bike, but because I didn't have my bike there, I had to walk/jog. He's generally quite slow, as his bikes set on a low gear, and I couldn't figure out how to get it higher! I get him to cycle down a cycle path, away from traffic, so I can let him go ahead no worries. Today however, I wanted him to wait for me at the end of the path, on the way back, so that we could pop into the chemist before going home, but he wasn't listening and cycled on and back home! I attempted to run after him and shout his name, but it wasn't the end of the world, and it seemed safe enough, so I just let him go - no point knackering myself trying to keep up with him cycling down a hill!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dear God...

...as you know I'm finally giving in and agreeing growing life inside me. I know I'm now 30, and getting a bit older, and that ideally I would love to have 2 children in total, but can I please request, that I don't have the two children in one go!

A few reasons:
  • I'm not a tall gal, 2 children in my womb - that's just not funny!
  • You know the size of our flat, it's only just sensibly big enough for one child, let alone two! We're still working on how we're going to adjust the place to allow enough room for baby stuff!
  • I'm so inexperienced, two at once is just cruel!
  • Child birth - enough said...

Mixed feelings

I'm not an overly emotional person. People have referred to me as being a very calm person - personally, I think I'm just good at covering up my nerves/worries to the general public. Recently, the whole idea of having a baby, has sent my body into such a mixture of feelings! I'm excited, nervous, anxious, worried, longing, happy... I worry about the practicalities and how it'll be such a massive thing once I am pregnant, and then when I have our first child - how will I cope, is our flat big enough, our lives will change a LOT...

I think this is just one of those things that I really need my faith, and to really just trust in God on this. Andy and I have had 6 years of married life without a child, so I think it's time to grow up and become parents! Ahhhhh!

OK, enough rambling on about what I'm pondering, I need to go and run a youth club now! Lets hope tonight doesn't put my off having kids!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Baby?

We're pondering the scary move to becoming parents! We can just about cope with looking after ourselves, for the last few years I've learnt how to wipe bottoms and put on pads/adult nappies - granted on adults, but it can't be much different in the grand scheme of things! We've been married for 6 years now, and we've both now turned 30, so we really do have no more excuses left! I can almost hear that biological clock ticking! I may not look my age, but I can't guarrantee that my reproductive system feels the same way, my body definitely can't do the same things I could in my early 20s!

We'd been aiming for some time around now to start trying, so I look up what is wise to do before trying for a baby, and I basically find out, that I should have looked this up 3 months ago! I've booked myself a health MOT on Wednesday, and I know I need to get a blood test, to check whether I still have an immunity to Rubella, and if not, then it's another jab and a 3 months wait before we can start trying!

I managed to loose 3 stone in weight in 2 years, and managed to get to my choosen goal weight or 8 1/2 stone! Sadly I was really struggling by the end, because although I was still going to Weightwatcher meetings, I'd pretty much given up on the plan, I was just tired of keeping track of everything I ate and drank. This was of course to my detriment, because my own way, was never going to be as effective. Since reaching goal, some of the weight has slowly crept back on, and I'm now about 9 stone! DOH! I don't dare go back to the WW class in case their scales tell me it's even more, and if I weigh more than 8 stone 12Ibs then I have to pay!

I'm thinking about going back to swimming. It's been a long time. I'd like to have a go at Aquaaerobics, but after a quick search for days and times of classes, fitting it regularly around my jobs & youth club could be a challenge! We'll see. Maybe I should just go swimming! I've been getting hip pain recently, and I'm worried that it could get worse when pregnant and I can't take Cod Liver oil as I have been!

New start

Ok, I've started up this blog, to allow myself a space online to say what I'm thinking/feeling, without worrying who will read it. My other blog has been going for a while, and I've got a few friends/family following it, and possibly a few others, but I don't want those people to necessarily read what I want to say at the moment.

Lets see how this blog goes, and go from there.

If you happen to stumble upon this blog: Hi, please feel free to leave a comment (as long as it's decent), if only to let me know you popped by.